Wednesday 16th December, 2015
I wish I could leave this entry empty and you could just read it and understand everything.
I have started disconnecting the utilities, one car is on eBay, the steam cleaner is booked. Jobs are being ticked. At the same time some are unticked – the most prevalent one at the moment – the prospective tenants decided to take a place elsewhere. Not the end of the world – but just an added stress I had in fact thought we had offloaded.
I misjudged the big kid’s emotions.
She is often short with me, rude, purposefully not saying I love you. I decided to talk to her about it yesterday – in a place of calm and love. Talking about how we would be feeling all sorts and that it is ok – that I am too.
Then the tears began.
They didn’t stop and became sobs. Lots of them.
She is sad about goodbyes and missing people. The apple doesn’t fall too far from that tree.
We sat for an hour after bedtime, just hanging out. Everything has been so mental lately that I don’t think she has had a whole lot of quality time with me either.
I find this hard to write about. Makes me feel like I have failed her a little.
The bigger picture – the adventure – the thrill – the different cultures – people – places.
Finishing this one feeling a little empty.
Love you Joan,